“just like the clouds my eyes will do the same…..”
-Bruno Mars, It Will Rain
Sigh Bruno Mars, you are too cute. Do guys really feel this way about girls?
Coco Puffs with OJ, anyone?
While making my rounds of the hotel today, I saw a dude add orange juice to his cereal….I was just kind of like O_O….Interesting combo….hahahaaha
Three more months until I go “Home” but I don’t even really understand the meaning of “home” anymore because I don’t feel like I really have one. When people ask me where I’m from I say California, but where in California? I don’t really know. The place I’ve lived the longest is Santa Cruz, but I don’t really feel like I’m from there. I could say Modesto, I suppose, but I lived in Santa Cruz longer than I did Modesto. I could also say Cupertino, but I lived there less than a year, so I don’t really know and it’s kind of confusing at times to feel grounded to a certain place.
Is it a bit weird that I am nervous about moving back to the U.S.? I don’t really like living in China, but I am in my comfortable nook now and don’t really want to budge. Going back to the U.S. will be like starting all over from scratch again. I will have to find a new job, get a car, even a BED. But yeah, I don’t know. Life is confusing. I feel like a wandering spirit sometimes with no direction. Floating from here to there until something can distract me enough to stay for a little longer than usual….Hopefully I can settle down and not have to move around all over the place anymore!!!
The new year is finally here. As I look back on 2011 I can say it wasn’t one of the best years, but a year that I learned a lot. The experiences that I’ve had this year were very hard hitting (like spraining my ankle within the first minute of new years, and the loss of a beloved family member) and has really shaped who I am today. Although it was hard I am, in a way, greatful for everything that happened. It has made me a stronger person. I know that I can do things that I set my mind to and am slowly making my dreams come true. I remember a year ago sitting at Betty’s Burgers in Santa Cruz with three friends day dreaming about moving to Asia and getting jobs. I can proudly say that we all did it. It didn’t turn out the way we had imagined, but we did it and I am really proud of all of us for being able to leave our lives behind to pursue a dream. We’re young and had the opportunity to just go for it, and we did. Not that many people actually take a jump like that, and I am glad that I did. I want to thank my uncle for giving me the courage to do something that I thought was only a dream. I know he would be proud of me if he was here to see it.
With that said, I am really excited for a new year and a fresh beginning. Next year will be a good one I can feel it :D
Happy Thanksgiving! Today is my favorite holiday, but unfortunately I can’t celebrate until after work. I hope everyone has an amazing holiday and does plenty of black Friday shopping!!! :D
So I think my tumblr page has been blocked here because I was talking about how shitty the internet was. I don’t know how I am still able to post things, but I haven’t been able to go to the actual page. Hopefully people are still able to read my posts.
It’s scary how something like a blog can be totally blocked just by putting a few words down. I’ve been taking my freedom of speech for granted. This just goes to show how different it is here and in the US. I’m not even posting exactly where “here” is in case they catch me again. Something so little as stating things on a personal blog get monitored…so freaky….I don’t feel safe.
The program that I had recently been using to access restricted American sites in China is no longer working :( no more fb, youtube, hulu, etc. Back to plain old SLOW Chinese internet. I guess I will have to update my tumblr more often instead.
Well as the countdown continues, I only have 5 more months here before my one year contract is over. My dad is already telling me everyday that he misses me and is trying to guilt trip me into staying and looking for a job in Hong Kong or going back to school there instead of back in California. I have a lot to think about. On one hand I want to try living in Hong Kong and finding a job, but on the other hand I want to go back to a place that’s comforting and English speaking. But we will see what life will bring me. As of right now the plan is to go home to California. :)
